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Word + Deed = Integrity

Have you ever noticed how much you enjoy people who actually do what they say they’ll do?

Isn’t it comforting to have folks who you can count on, especially in times of need? How much easier life becomes when we have a vast network of family and friends who say what they do and do what they say.

People who do what they say help create stress-free relationships in my book!

Really! Who needs more unhealthy stress these days?

Integrity = a word worth paying attention too! Time to get down to the nitty-gritty of integrity!

Let’s back-up a moment for a quick refresher course on personal worth key words.

Over the past couple months, we’ve explore a number of key-terms regarding worth based on years of feedback received from Pay Me What I’m Worth study groups, retreats, seminars and workshops. These key terms (also explored on blog-talk radio) play a critical role in how you and others assess your personal worth on many levels. It makes sense that one’s personal level of integrity significantly flavors one’s reputation and respect levels. A simple tree offers us a GREAT visual example of how integrity relates to respect and reputation

Picture a healthy, leafy tree. To produce those leaves, this tree needs stable branches attached to sturdy limbs that form the crown. The tree crown needs a healthy, solid trunk to support itself. That trunk would be pretty poor off if it didn’t have a vast system of healthy, growing roots supporting and feeding it. Working from the roots-up:

Integrity = roots. Integrity, in the form of consistently doing what you say you’ll do often produces stable relationships (roots). Your circle of relationships grow (much like rings in a tree trunk), the more your words match your deeds. These relationships help craft a solid reputation based on sound ethics.  (Ethics could be considered the soil in which your roots of integrity rapidly grow.)

Reputation = Trunk. Reputation is earned one person, one word, one deed at a time. The more you do what you say, the more likely people trust trust you. Would you say the concept of trust plays a key role in one’s reputation? As more people trust you, your influence grows exponentially (often rapidly). Like a tree, each season the trunk adds another ring of growth based on what that season offers. If the seasons offered little (water, sun, minerals, etc) the span between rings are smaller. More light, water and sun = larger growth cycles. So true with your reputation. The more your words match your deeds, the more you gain trust and ethical, healthy power.

Respect = Crown. Respect is often swayed like leaves on tree branches based on breezes of gossip, rumors or full-blown storms such as being caught doing something less than ethical. Have you noticed how when you respect others, it inspires them to respect you. Much like branches growing twigs to support leaves, respect provides the primary food to feed your reputation and thus your integrity. (A tree without leaves might not live too long right? ) Well earned and maintained respect provides shade in times when things get hot!

For example, if life heats up in some form or fashion and you need help, you’ll get more help when others respect you based on their solid relationship with you. This solid relationship helps busy people carve out time to help you because in their eyes, you’re worth it. I hope, when folks help you out, you show some type of gratitude. When we show gratitude, it feeds our integrity tree on all levels.

True, we have a inspiring ability to take time to help people we know little about. From a species / spiritual perspective, at our core, we tap our roots of integrity in times of turmoil or when we realize it’s time to learn, forgive and grow. In times of need such as floods, earthquakes, fires (etc) people around the world spring to action to help out. Seasonally inspired times of gratitude (holidays, annual family events, etc) may offer a moment or two to set aside differences and be more respectful with folks we know. This is true when a family crisis blows in as well (deaths, illnesses, etc). We pay our respects to those we know who died even IF we had issues with them at some point.

Also true integrity seems to encounter root-rot when fear sets in. Sadly, people who maintain deep levels of integrity watch in dismay when those who once respected them based on a solid reputation RUN from them when (often imagined) fear creeps in. How many times in human history have we committed the most horrific acts based on some imagined fear? Such fears completely twists integrity into something that supports those horrific acts. Given the times, we MUST be mindful NOT to allow fear to rot our relationships in any form.

As we continue to face challenging economic times locally and globally, kindly be mindful of what fears try to take root in you. If you sense someone you know needs help, offer what you can while also taking care of yourself. More so now than ever before, it’s time to live more simply so that others may simply live. By helping each other out through these stressful times, we’ll enjoy an integrity renaissance unlike anything we’ve seen in some time. Imagine life with far less stress based on actively taking steps to improve your integrity by doing what say you’ll do! Based on your personal experience, is not just about every aspect of life is MUCH easier when people:

• do what they can, with what they have?
• follow-up with what they say by doing what they said they’ll do.
• inform you of any changes when original commitments need to change. (Hey! Life happens – right? )

Life become much more stressful when people make then break promises without warning. As noted at the top of this post, who needs such stress. Unhealthy stress robs your worth on all levels! Stress diminishes your health, then your wealth. If you’re wise, you’ll learn from such stress how to NOT repeat those stressful lessons.

Last but not least, much like learning a new language, gaining more proficiency in integrity takes practice. Find someone you believe to be a person of integrity. As them to be your guide or coach. People who’ve been there can help you get there with much less stress more often than not!

Thoughts about all this? Be sure to leave a comment in the comment box below. Let’s turn this article into an ongoing discussion – shall we?

Should you find yourself needing help to establish solid roots of integrity – click this link. This site offers many donation-based programs to support healthy growth on many levels.

Pay Me What I’m Worth:  Key Terms (tag cloud)

ethics, gratitude, health, integrity, love, money, power, property, reputation, respect, time, wisdom, worth

Know Thyself

Happy. Reliable. Kind. Loyal. Funny. Jerk. Spiritual. Visionary. Practical. Big hearted. Pig headed. Easy going. Dreamer. Inspiring. Weird. Focused. Story teller. Hugger.

What words would appear in your reputation tag cloud? If you asked 10 people who’ve known you for (at least) a day or your entire life, what words or terms do you think would appear? Do you have the courage or interest to ask 10 people this question,

“If you were to rapidly, randomly pick 10 words or terms to describe me, what would they be?”

Why would you ask such a question (or a question similar to this)?

Your personal worth is based on real (or perceived) skills, talents and relationships – all key ingredients supporting a real (or perceived) reputation. (What’s with the repetition of the words: real or perceived?) What you think is real isn’t real to someone else until they experience it for themselves. For example, you might think you have a real talent for cooking. If a close friend has never eaten anything you’ve cooked, unless you have a solid, long term reputation as a known chef, it’s unlikely your friend would believe you have a reputation for being a good cook.

Reputation: a concept worth paying attention to.

The more your reputation inspires the best in others, the more you’ll enjoy expanding worth on many levels. What’s the key to a solid, healthy, robust, evolving reputation? Two words. (Two words inscribed in stone at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.) Know thyself.

Sounds simple – right? You should know yourself pretty well – true? You see yourself every day. You probably talk to yourself a bit (that endless inner mind chatter stuff). Yet do you really know yourself? Let’s find out shall we? Care to do some of the most difficult work known to our species? (Personal development work is some of the hardest work we face. If you doubt this statement, try this exercise on for size!)

The Reputation Review & Renew Workout Program is a tried and true experience that guarantees to open your eyes to your truths (facts) as well as untruths (fictions). How does this author come to make this bold statement? Based on two decades of working one-on-one with a wide variety of clients, I know this program is a life-changer on many levels. [If you decide to try this exercise, kindly warm up to this program by clicking this link. Download a free .pdf file. Read the Ground Rules found on pages i - iv.]

Reputation Review & Renew Workout Program.

Step One: click this link. Download a free .pdf file. Read the Ground Rules found on pages i – iv.

Step Two: Over the next few months, spend a few moments each day writing down words or terms you believe describe who you sense yourself to be. (I often suggest my clients purchase a simple notebook. Keep this book by your bed. Write five to ten words in the morning and evening pre/post bed time.) Goal: 1000 words / terms. (Ya! Ya! That seems like a long list. 10 words a day for three months and you’ll be there in no time!) Don’t worry about words or terms showing up over and over again. Repetition is fine.

Step Three: once you complete your personal list, time to step-up the pace. Repeat Step Two by asking as many people as you know to share 10 (or more) words / terms they would use to describe you to a friend. Send an email blast out to your entire list. Before you know it, you’ll have plenty of words! (Before you complain about asking so many people – keep in mind, this exercise requires a desire to KNOW THYSELF. If that desire isn’t there – good news! You’re free to skip this program.)

Step Four: use your computer’s word program to enter in both lists.

1. Create two files at first.
   • For your personal list – use any font color you like.
   • For your combined list (friends, family, coworkers, etc.), select a different color for each group of responses. Example, family = green; coworkers = blue, etc. Be sure not to repeat any font colors.
2. With two completed files, copy both lists into ONE file.
3. Sort this third file – alphabetically.

Step Five: review the results. Observe:

• • what surprises you in some way.
  • repetition (do these words repeat more often with family? Friends? Co-workers?)
  • positive or negative outcomes (more positive or negative than you thought)

As you dive into step five, please review step one. Remember to balance your ability to be kind to yourself with understanding these words / terms are a snapshot of who you’ve BEEN! As you’ve discovered as time flies by, are you the same person you were a decade ago? No! You’ve changed in many ways.

As you come to know yourself better, you’ll discover this final list is a treasure chest of opportunities to learn, laugh and grow more healthy, wealthy and wise. As people come to know you to be a genuinely happy, healthy, stable, self-aware person, your reputation inspires a warm, deep respect. Such respect is known to naturally, effortlessly produce a desire to help or honor you in many ways. Example: think of ONE person you sincerely respect in a healthy, supportive way. When this person asks for help, how do you respond? If this person is a professional who has to charge you for something, how do you respond? Would you risk your reputation with someone you respect by offering them anything less than your best?

While a solid, stable, healthy reputation is a cherished treasure, it might become a liability. How? If your reputation has you locked into something you’d rather not be, or do, you face a difficult (but not impossible) task. It IS possible to change your reputation to include (or possibly completely phase out) something you no longer find enjoyable or doable. This takes time and effort. Based on what I’ve seen over the decades, it’s well WORTH your time and effort to always align your reputation with what you absolutely LOVE doing. If you find yourself stuck in some sort or fashion, WARNING – being stuck based on a desire to NOT risk your reputation ultimately brings about you facing that risk. I’ve seen such events happen more often than not.

Should you find yourself stuck in a reputation rut – click this link.This site offers many donation-based programs to support healthy growth on many levels.

Wrapping up, you’re invited to expand your personal worth by . . .

Pay Me What I’m Worth:  Key Terms (tag cloud)

ethics, gratitude, health, integrity, love, money, power, property, reputation, respect, time, wisdom, worth